Cisca: My Bloody Valentine

In 1994 I was still in high school* and Meatloaf’s I Would Do Anything For Love was fast becoming one of the biggest hits of the decade. A rock-ballad of note, it was a staple at school dances where the girls swooned and the guys swooped in as Meatloaf crooned on their behalf: “I would do anything for love, I’d run right into hell and back… And I would do anything for love, I’ll take the vow and seal a pact…” My heart skipped a beat as my then first beau sang these words into my ear and kissed me, but my 16-year-old self really didn’t think about the clincher: “I would do anything for love… But I won’t do that”! What was “that” exactly? Was there anything in the world I wouldn’t do for the love?

In short, yes. I won’t share so, for me, cheating has meant a parting greeting. I won’t put up with lying or omitting the truth, such as with my on-line dating escapade in which Mr. Wrong declared that he didn’t divulge details of his drug use because he thought I wouldn’t date him. Um, well, he was right about that. I wouldn’t move in with one guy after just two dates even though he took it badly. I decided to cut my losses and not go on a second date with the guy that forgot his wallet at home. I’m not taking calls from the hottie with a live-in girlfriend. I’m never going to let a guy tie me up and put a ball gag in my mouth although I’ve had the not-even-vaguely tempting offer…

I would do anything for love...but I won't do THAT!

There are the big-time obvious things like I wouldn’t kill for love and I wouldn’t steal for love… Drugs and physical abuse… But what about putting up with letting your partner decide what you can wear, flirting with all the waitresses in front of you or making comments about how much you weigh or what you eat? Would you let your partner swear at you or push you around because you love him or her? These may be extremes but I didn’t pluck them out of thin air and would be willing to bet good money that you’ve encountered these things yourselves or seen at least one of your friends face them…

So, this Valentine’s day I’ve thought a lot about all the things I haven’t done! Thank God!

I once believed that there really was ‘no mountain high enough or valley low enough’ when it came to love as I, the ever-dutiful girlfriend, attended every rugby match at the expense of my own commitments or tried to shift 7 kilograms from my then 57 kilogram frame to make the man of the moment happier … I did a lot of stupid things all in the name of the big “L”.

Of course I have been loved and adored beyond reason in return most times. And to the men that loved this Beau Dacious babe unconditionally, and did everything and anything for me even though it didn’t work out, thank you and a very happy Valentine’s day to you. But today I get to celebrate the fact that I don’t have to sit through a Valentine’s dinner with the same sociopathic, dumb ass that I had to sit with last year or some of the other years. Being single today doesn’t signify any kind of failure… It is a point of pride that you a made a fantastic decision to say no to whatever it may have been at the time and walked away.

As I write, I have a lifetime of dreams coming true and I feel like somewhere along the line I said a big fat “yes” to myself. I can also say with a degree of certainty, I will do almost anything for love, but I’m so glad I didn’t do that!

*One of the top Google searches that led to the Beau Dacious blog on Monday was  ‘Cisca Vennard age’. Here’s a clue…

This post was written by Cisca. Meet all the Beau Dacious ladies on our Beau Hunters page.

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One thought on “Cisca: My Bloody Valentine

  1. Cisca, I feel that I have learned quote a bit about you today. Seems we are also the same age since I was 17 in 1995 and graduating high school. Of course, my mother thought I was a lost cause from 18 – 25 when I decided to try my hand at 29 different jobs. Luckily for me I ended up landing a job with a guy I met in Ireland back in the states in 2002. It was my first real taste of internet marketing and I found a career I could be passionate about and enjoy. Hard to believe 10 year later I still enjoy it. How are things at Fredhopper now?

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